“We call this place ‘Panda Express’ because there’s an actual panda in the back ‘expressing’ all the food from his bowels.
“You’ve just ingested at least 6 ounces of pure MSG.”
“If they wanted too, any one of the employees could jump across the counter and kung fu your a%#.”
“My name Javier. I’m a nine-year-old boy and I live in a sweatshop just outside of Caracas, Venezuela where we are forced to write fortunes 13 hours a day. Please Help!”
“說 文 解 字 说 文 解 字.”
“A monetary reward will be paid to anyone who kills escaped capitalist Chinese citizens.” –General Mao Zedong
“You just ate Orange Chicken.”
“Impending doom awaits around every corner. Your violent demise is certain. Sorry.”
“Made In Taiwan”
11 comments:
My favorite is number 8. I had totally forgotten that little jingle until now. Thanks, I can't wait to teach it to Porter.
Panda is no good. I have been there at least 5 times and without fail I get a sick stomach everytime.
Panda does however beat the joint my parents took us to when I was younger. My husbands cousin worked there and said the owner used to cut her toenails in the kitchen.
You get the award for the most posts that make me laugh OUTLOUD. I forgot about #8. #10 is pretty sick, but funny. You could write Top Ten lists for Letterman!
Questioning self: Do I share this with my husband and risk him never wanting to go to Panda Express again?
great fortunes...my favorite is:
"That wasn't chicken"
"Believe in your cramping"
Centers for Disease Control
lmao awesome i had weird ones tho 'your auntie is a moose' thats abit odd tbh lol
thanks for commenting my blog : )
lucky you having no chavs in utah, whats it like there?
Cold and raining as always here in england.
I love that list, it's sadly so true. I don't eat at Panda. But my husband has lovingly taught our sons "Me Chinese, me no dumb..", so we're all on the same page.
what! i think that panda express needs to be check by the sanitary...
p.s. thanks for the comment!
Confucius say, "Vote Won Paaw!"
Hey thanks for visiting www.patriotunderground.blogspot.com
"Everyone who comes to the Olympics in Bejing will not be allowed to leave ... ultimately causing WWIII."
That one was strange to get.
Quinn Brothers? Never heard of 'em.
It would seem that you and Jonathan-- and maybe the whole of Utah, for that matter-- eat way too much chinese fast food. If the "fortune" is the main focus of the whole meal, then I say "think outside the cookie" and order a pizza!
You're officially my new favorite blog.
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