Indian Leg Wrestling
One Handed Knife Fighting (like in Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” video)
Poetry Recitation (no original poems allowed)
Star Gazing
Heckling (this could be done in conjunction with any of the real events)
Whistling Dixie
Pistol Whipping (to make it more objective, it would have to be to the death of course)
The Border Cross (contestants run and swim through an obstacle course whilst being shot at by armed guards)
Lactating
15 comments:
Lactating would certainly draw an interesting crowd of spectators.
It's about time we see an Olympic sport that is a fight to the death.
I think maybe you could combine the lactating with some type of target competition. Like maybe they had to spray it into their baby's mouth 10 yards away. Or just hit a bullseye. That would be something to cheer for.
They would have to disallow those with fake lactaters...it would create quite a disturbance and fakies just don't work as well. ( "
I don't think we should penalize OR judge women who have chosen to turn to science for enhancement. Bless them for their courage.
I'd bet money that you would volunteer to be a judge that checks to see if they're real or fake, right? There would be men lined up for weeks trying to get that spot.
Remember that talk we had about my "feelings" on lactating? I was enjoying that post until #1. Sick.
{For any confused readers, both of our spouses were there - Unmighty and I don't sit around chatting about this alone...}
I love the Border Crossing and Pistol Whipping...those would be my new favorites right under Gymnastics and Swimming! LOL :D
Oh my gosh, your picture at the top of your blog is so disturbing.
I really think I have a chance at the gold with Heckling. I've been practicing for years during Sunday school and staff meetings.
Oh UnMighty, lest you misunderstand my comment...I was speaking from experience. ( " Does that mean I am blessed for my courage?
Oh yeah, pistol whipping, I would watch that. How about indignant slapping with a kidskin glove?
Well, if we're talking cheering, I vote for what Anonymous said about combining lactating with targets. If you want to know which idea made me laugh the hardest, I'm going with baby seal clubbing. You're twisted- it's delightful.
I was at a MMA event recently, and in between fights they brought up 4 people from the crowd to have a mini leg wrestling tournament. It was funny. And wierd.
What about these:
*Turnstyle jumping
*Four-way stopping
*bluedart platform diving
*bitch-slapping could be the trials event for pistol-whipping
*lazertag
*Mercy
*Red Rover
*chopstick fly-catching
*Cave Dwelling
*Hurricane Sailboat Pooping (not actually pooping a sailboat, but pooping while on a sailboat in a hurricane)
*podracing
nevermind.
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