The Following are actual questions and comments from a few of my high school students. Names have been changed to protect the ignorant.
Paige: “If I were French, I think I would hate American food.”
Sara: “Whatever. I love our food. French Fries are awesome.”
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Jacob: “You don’t know how long it took Columbus to get here? I thought you were a history teacher.”
Me: “Well, I know when he got here. Do you?”
Jacob: “Ya. Like 1944.”
Adam: “It was way before that you idiot. It was like the 1830’s.”
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Me: Who would you like to follow around and observe for a day, and why? It can be anybody; dead or alive.
(I get a variety of answers. People from history, politics, religion, pop culture, family, etc.)
Me: Jennifer, how about you?
Jennifer: I’d like to follow my dad while he was fighting in Vietnam.
Me: Oh, your dad was in Vietnam? (joking wryly) What side did he fight for?
Jennifer: You know what, I’m not sure.
Me: Well, is your dad Vietnamese? (Jennifer is obviously Caucasian.)
Jennifer: I don’t know. I’ve never asked him.
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Trina: “Is England in the United States?”
18 comments:
As an idiot myself, I often feel alone in the universe. But, thanks to you, and posts like these, which have opened my eyes to a whole world of fellow idiots, I can hold my stupid head up high and feel confident and reassured in the fact that one stupid person is a tragedy, but all together we are a culture.
Ahh, the future leaders of America. The ones who will hold the keys to our rest homes and our checkbooks. God bless the youth of today.
You just re-affirmed my belief in private education.
It kind of sounds like an episode of Jay Walking on the Tonight Show! Scary stuff!
I refuse to think I was ever that stupid as a teenager.
(And no comments from anyone who thinks otherwise...)
That is downright scary. I truly hope these kids go on to trade school that can learn some skills, so they can stay out of harms way and at the same time go on to actually get a job and feed themselves.
I would really be concerned if one (or more) of them went on to college and...I don't know, dumbassed their way through the coursework and became a brain surgeon or worse - a nuclear engineer. Take your pick. *_*
Lovely. Truly.
I was struck by two comments this week at university:
#1
Professor: ..and therefore we see a regeneration of the Fungiform papilla (above the taste buds) every 10-12 days.
America's Future #1:
So, like, my grandfather can't really taste much anymore so, like, does that mean his taste buds are like, covered in fungi mold and molded? you know, b/c he's oldlike...
Comment #2:
As I was walking about on campus I heard a girl say into her cellphone:
America's Future #2:
Yeah, like I totally won't rest until I have his dick in my hand (pause) yeah, I know, I'm a stalker like that Glenn Glosser chick.
Wow. Sassy.
I'm pretty sure she meant Glenn Close, but who knows...I'm not up on all the flicks marketed toward the younger chicks. They remake everything else, so why not a remake of Fatal Attraction with a new lead, that Glenn Glosser--- chick.
Not to imply that the second comment is indicative of anything other than a girl in need of a lay; that or an intervention by a licensed psychotherapist with particular expertise in aggressive stalkers , but the vernacular is priceless.
hope you are well, unMightyman.
jenji
How do you not just freak out with these kids? I could never be a teacher-I'd get into way too much trouble for telling them how dumb they are. I'm sure I just spelled something wrong didn't I.
OMG ("Oh my gosh"-Just learned that one from some high schoolers). I went to my mom's high school where she teaches and the kids were all trying to be deep and impress me. They were talking about Imos and I was like, "What the hell is an Imo?" I thought it was the sour cream stuff you put on a baked potato. Boy, was I wrong. Seriously, OMG.
Really comments like those making teaching all worth it.
No I'm not being sarcastic.
What would we all talk about if our students weren't such nut cases?
Wow -- sounds like you're doing a bang-up job educating them.
If any of these kids ever run for public office, warn me so that I can move to Canada
Really? I do hope you beat them or at least made them eat chalk.
Don't you teach at Russ' school? If so, I find this very scary. Russ just explained to me this week how its suppost to be an academic/leadership charter. He said you are grooming the politicians and academics of the next generation. :::shudders:::
Does salt h2o know you work at a private school? (See post below by salt h2o)
Sad and funny all at once....but mostly sad...no...no, wait...it's mostly funny.
Me: So, some people couldn't make it to the continental congress because of the severe weather.
Middle School Student: Why didn't they just drive?
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Second Grade Student: Teacher, why are some people brown?
Me: What? Excuse me?
Student: (pointing at a new student) Because he's brown, but we're all white.
Brown Student: (examining his arms) He's right. Why, teacher?
Currently I'm grading geography exams.
Question: Which city is divided by the Danube River into Pest and Buda?
Answer: Pestobuda
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