She wears earrings that look like tuning keys.
On your kitchen table you find an invoice from a private investigator and a manila folder full of black and white pictures of you and the guitar.
She likes to suggest hobby alternatives like drugs or alcohol.
In an effort to regain your attention she buys a G-string and an E, B, D, and A string to wear as lingerie.
She knows what every pawnshop in town is willing to give for it.
She spends an inordinate amount of time in an internet chat room conversing with a guy named “Mr. Banjo.”
She ends heated arguments with a crude gesture and the order to “STRUM THIS!”
When your high school girlfriend called to catch up, she took the kids outside to give you some alone time.
She refers to it as “The One Legged Whore.”
4 comments:
Did you ever think about writing a column or something like that? I just discovered your blog today and spent the last hour reading your entries. Thanks a lot my sides are aching from laughing so hard. This is great stuff, and I'll see what I can do about telling 10,000 more people about it. I think I know 15 people and actually talk to 4 of them so no guarentees.
Stuart
Stuart,
Four is a start, but lets try to pick up the slack, huh?
Thanks for the compliment. Keep reading.
You are sooo hilarious! I have not laughed out loud like that for a lONG time, which is pretty sad if you think about! Im so glad my sister (who knows Kat from high school) told me about your page. You need to be published! Gina
Many blessings upon you and your sister. (Who is she so I can tell my wife?)
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